Let go
by CursedLyfe
Summary: Munch just needs to let go. Olivia is there for him.


Title: Let Go

Ok, I fixed a few things because the story looked really crappy in live preview. Hope it's good now.

Synopsis: Munch just needs to let go and he has Olivia by his side.

Disclaimer: Don't own so don't sue.

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He stood on the roof looking into the midnight sky. Cloudless as it was, it took his mind away from the horrible things he saw everyday. 

This was the spot he always called his thinking place. When the world got too much for him, he just came up and stood and stared. Usually he was alone but tonight, Olivia decided to follow him.

"John, are you okay?" She knew he wasn't because none of them were. What they saw every single day was beyond what a normal person would see in his entire lifetime. Rape, murder, suicide, self infliicted harm, abuse, all terrible things to do to human beings.

"Olivia, are you okay with what goes on everyday?" his words were harsh. She'd seen him angry before but this went deeper than ever.

"No John, I'm not okay with what happens everyday because no sane person would be," she tried to be as calm as possible. "Want to talk about it?" He turned around to face her. She was shocked to see his tear-streaked face. One thing Olivia hated about her job was how every case took a huge toll on everyone involved. She hated to see the effects it had on her partners and collegues.

"Even if I talked, it wouldn't do any good because you can't undo the past!" he spat angrily. "What, are you going to try to "shrink" me as well as everyone else? See what emotional setbacks I have? You think I can't handle myself because of what we see everyday?" Olivia was taken aback by his words. Never in her life would she try to "shrink" him because everyone in the squad hated psychiatrists. In real life, nobody except themselves knew what true terror was and honestly, none of them felt psychiatrists would understand no matter how many times they were told.

His angered boiled up and he took off his glasses and hurled them off the roof. "OKAY! This is the real me! I'm not strong enough to deal with the pressure and the emotions! Go ahead! Try to analyze me like EVERYONE else does!" His eyes were full of tears of rage.

"No John, I'm not trying to shrink you, I'm trying to help you. Look, I care a lot about you and what happens. Just talk to me. Fallout. I'm here. I KNOW you're strong enough to get through this. You just need to talk about it. Please don't push me away." Concern was laced into every sentence she spoke. She truly cared for John, as well as Elliot, Fin, and Cragen.

He couldn't take the emotional pressure. He just lowered himself to the floor and his entire body was wracked with sobs. Olivia rushed to him and wrapped her arms around him while he cried. To her surprise, he returned the embace. By this time, she also had tears in her eyes.

They sat together, while the city bustled around them, paying no attention as two souls entertwined. After a while, they both calmed down. They released each other from the embrace and stared into each other's eyes.

"Look Liv, I'm sorry for lashing out at you… I was just so angry. I didn't mean any of those things I said." John held a pleading look in his eyes and Olivia knew he meant it. Even if he didn't apologize, she would have known he didn't mean it. She nodded to him accepting his apology and she hugged him again.

"I know. I know you didn't mean it. It's okay. You can come to me to talk if you need it." She drew back and smiled. Knowing that she wouldn't say it if she meant it, he smiled his first genuine smile.

Embarrassedly, he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Thanks, Liv. I know it's hard for me to talk about how I'm feeling. I guess I just bottle it all up and it never gets let out." Seeing her smile at him took all his pain away. He knew she would be there for him. "It's a good thing we have you on the team otherwise Fin would have belted me one if he'd seen me like this. And one more thing, please don't tell anyone? It won't bode well with anyone."

She felt better now that he was back to witty self again. "Not a word to anyone," she promised. Patting him on the shoulder, she turned around saying, "I don't know about you, but I'm beat. It's late. I think I'm going to stay in the crib tonight. Coming?"

Sensing him following her, she held her hand out so he could take it. Both walking towards the door, she stopped and turned around. "Can you see without your glasses on?"

Olivia had only once seen Munch without his glasses on and that was when he accidentally got poked in the eye by Fin. She now noticed how beautiful they looked. His eyes were a dark shade of brown, a coffee brown so to say.

She was busy staring that she didn't notice him blush. "It's okay, even though I can't see, I have someone to guide me." He hoped she'd get his message as well as his original meaning.

She did, of course, and smiled. When they got downstairs, Cragen approached them with a puzzled look on his face as well we a red whelt on his head. After seeing that John wasn't wearing his glasses, he held up his hand. John's glasses were mangled and the lenses were broken.

"Anyone want to explain to me on how THESE fell on my head while I was standing outside?" John and Olivia just looked at each other and laughed. Yes, it felt good to be loved and wanted by someone else.

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Wow. Only took me an hour to write this and I still think it came out good! Sorry! I've been on standbye for so long! Ideas just seem to slip my mind right when I try to write them. Anyways, tell me what you think! 


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